Now What? Living for Christ in Such a Time as This
Yesterday, my husband and I spent five and a half hours watching the memorial service for Charlie Kirk. Eleven days ago, I didn’t even know who he was. Since his assassination, I’ve been learning about his life, his convictions, and the faith that shaped him.
But ultimately, this isn’t about Charlie—it’s about Jesus. Charlie’s life and his death simply stirred something in me. It caused me to reflect on my own walk with Christ and the life I’m living for Him.
I can’t help but wonder if I should have paid attention sooner. But I also know God’s timing is perfect, and He allowed me to see and hear these things at just the right moment. “He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
Waking Up at 3 a.m.
This morning, I woke up at 3 a.m., frustrated at first, but then I remembered something John and Lisa Bevere said: sometimes those early hours are God nudging us awake.
So I got up. I journaled. And the questions that came were heavy:
Would I sacrifice my life for Christ?
Would I sacrifice my life for my country?
Am I really that brave?
And most importantly—does my life reflect one that truly lives for Christ?
The bigger question for all of us is this: What does life look like now?
Not just after the loss of one man. But in light of the gospel.
Seeds and Complacency
My heart aches for those who are searching right now, those whose seeds of faith were planted during this season but who don’t yet know where to turn. When someone is curious about God but doesn’t have strong roots yet, it’s easy for doubt, fear, or distraction to choke out what was planted.
Jesus said, “Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty” (Matthew 13:8). As believers, part of our calling is to help water those seeds, through prayer, encouragement, and pointing people back to Jesus, so they can grow deep roots in Him.
And as I thought about that, I realized how much I still need that same watering in my own life. I’ve known God’s goodness. I’ve walked with Him. But I also know I’ve been complacent. Distracted.
Life’s pain, surgeries, and struggles became excuses. The truth is, I allowed those distractions to create distance between me and God. And just like new believers need guidance to grow, I needed to return to the basics of faith: trust, surrender, and time with Him.
Breaking Down the Wall
Through counseling with my counselor and coaching with LisaShawCares.com, I realized I had allowed a wall to grow between God and my heart.
I knew God loved me, but I was struggling with a deeper question: Did I really believe He liked me? Did I trust Him enough to let Him all the way in?
The answer, painfully, was no.
But little by little, through prayer, guidance, and honesty, I began to open that door again. And when you say, “God, I trust You,” change begins. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).
Small Steps Back to God
In recent weeks, we’ve returned to church for the first time in years. I had been doing personal Bible study at home, but I realized something was missing: a sense of community. God never designed us to walk this faith journey alone. We need others to pray with us, encourage us, and remind us of His truth.
We’ve also begun to honor Sabbath again, something we practiced when we were first married but let slip away over the years. The very distractions that pulled me away from God were the ones that Sabbath was meant to protect me from. Choosing to pause, rest, and set aside time for Him has been life-giving.
And already I feel the rest and renewal Jesus promised: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
As I reflected during the memorial, I grieved, not only for the Kirk family, but for my own wasted years. Years of distraction, disobedience, and silence when I should have been pointing others to Christ.
But God is faithful: “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22–23).
And yes, repentance was needed.
For Such a Time as This
Over the past few weeks, I’ve watched people in the online space stand boldly for Christ, especially Erika Kirk. As I’ve learned more about her story, it’s clear how God has prepared her for the role she now finds herself in. Many have even called her a modern-day Esther.
“for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14).
It can be tempting to think that kind of courage belongs only to public figures or leaders. But the truth is, God has placed each of us in our families, workplaces, neighborhoods, and communities with the same call: to shine Christ’s light.
Every act of kindness, every word of truth, every prayer, they all matter.
Where Do We Start?
So what now?
We start where God always begins:
Prayer. Honest, unpolished, from-the-heart prayer. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6).
Repentance. For complacency. For neglect. For the ways we’ve drifted. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
God’s Word. We can’t know who we are until we know who He is. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (Psalm 119:105).
The Esther Question
So here’s the question I’m wrestling with, and maybe you are too:
👉 What does it look like to truly live for Jesus, right now, where you are?
Don’t wait for the perfect time or perfect courage. Start where you are.
Because each of us—yes, you—was born for such a time as this.
Go. Be the Esther. Point to Jesus.